Written and Directed by Baptise Le Bihan
Reviewed by A. Mewsic Man for Toe-Tappers Anonymous
It’s a MUSICAL. This third, and last, of the Sideways Music trilogy, directed by Le Bihan, and is yet another twist in this genre-bending trilogy. In this musical number we follow a character known only as ST, a laid-back blue-grass singer whose refrain throughout the film is ‘similarity ain’t identity, baby’.
This third instalment of the trilogy takes place, chronologically speaking, earlier than the second instalment. ST is yet another friend of Ned’s, though it is never explained how the two became friends. Those of you drawn to the cinema for amazing cinematography and sweeping vistas will be disappointed: this could easily have been a stage musical that was filmed. In essence, we follow a dialogue between Ned and ST, with one remonstrating with the other about whether sideways music can be expected to be a success with audiences given how like, or unlike, space, time is. The musical numbers are catchy, and the actors/singers playing Ned and ST are fantastic. If you want a taster for what’s in the film, below are several of the numbers that are performed.
This is a lot toe-tapping fun. Four stars.
Baby, Similarity ain’t Identity
Sung by Ned, to the tune of Bon Jovi, This Ain’t a Love Song
I should have seen it coming when the music died
The audience went running, from the noise they did hide
I should have listened when they said time was like space
Now I’ve egg on my face
And baby, ain’t it funny, how you never ever learn to see
That time is like space, without there being an identity
But only fools are know-it-alls, and I played that fool for you
I tried and I tried to show time was like space for you baby,
I cried and I cried as the science drove my crazy, baby
If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time’s not just one more spatial entity
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.
Baby I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime
But we were just a legend in my mind. I guess that I was blind
To all the ways that space, is not the same as time
To the fact that the fourth dimension, has a minus sign
You and I were the renegades; an A-theorist’s version of change
It made me so mad ‘cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it’s so sad that this fad ain’t worth saving.
If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time is not just one more spatial entity
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.
If the pain that I’m feeling so strong is the reason that I’m holding on
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity
I tried and I tried to show time was like space for you baby,
I cried and I cried to deny what the science told me, baby
If the equations I’ve got you’re wrong; if time is not just one more spatial entity
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, similarity ain’t identity.
Can’t fight the science, man
ST sings to the tune of Lee-Anne Rimes’ Can’t Fight the Moonlight
Wolves, are like dogs
At least more so than hogs
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
Leave your kid with that dude
And he’ll end up as food
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
Homo sapiens are like chimps
Though the former are wimps
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
If the chimp does your taxes
He won’t answer your faxes
Then you know
Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
Toads are like frogs
At least most so than dogs
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
If you lick that frog hard
You’ll turn into a bard
Then you know
Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
Penguins are like rooks
At least most so than books
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
If you throw that penguin up
He’ll come down like a pup
Then you know
Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
Candles are like lamps
At least most so than stamps
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
If your lamp catches fire
It will smoke like a tyre
Then you know
Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
Republicans are like Democrats
At least most so than dried bats
But you know
But you know that you can’t fight the science, man
When your health care goes away
A giant bill you’ll have to pay
Then you know
Then you know that you can’t fight the science, man
No, you can’t fight it,
It’s more complicated than that
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